I never knew that this feeling could hurt and pleasant at the same time, my life was painted in bright colors as well as dark ones. It was a moment in my life that I never knew engulfing into.
It was 2 years ago; I met him in the university. He was in my class, we were paired together for a big project, at first I thought he was just a pretty face, a face that could be mistaken for a girl, but he has his brains too, a person who has a name by Inoo Kei.
I was new in town, he insisted on touring me around and this where it all started, the agony and beauty of my life.
We were standing outside at his favorite cafe, 'Neko Cafe' the board says, but I opposed his selection of cafes, I hated cats! So with a disappointed face we headed to a coffee shop beside it.
After ordering, we took our seats next to the window, he demanded there, he said that he enjoys looking out of the window, observing all those people walking. He's weird, I thought, didn't say it to him, since I am a bit shy and it feels awkward to say it to him, since we just met.
"So, Yaotome-kun, what made you choose to move here?" he asked
I put down my coffee cup on the table as I replied to his question "I like the school." I simply answered.
"That's it?! You don't have anything else?" He was surprised at me as I was surprised at him
I shake my head
"Wow, you are the most boring person I met." He said as he placed his palm under his chin and observe the people passing by outside.
Silences fills in the air as we just sat there and drink, I am really no good at small talks, and I’d rather sit by let the other person talk. So since neither of us talked, we just finished our drink as we go back to our dormitory. We live on separate rooms, he live upstairs, 2 or 3 floors above me.
As I was to enter my room, he was just behind me, looking at the door, I turn my head around.
"What?" he asked.
"I thought you were going to your room" I replied.
He shook his head "Nope too boring, let me stay to your place for a while."
I continue to unlock my door knob and let him in "Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess, I haven't fully unpack yet." I said to him as I pointed to some of the boxes beside the door frame.
He starts open one box and I heard a small shriek from his voice, I went closer to him to see what happened, he cuts his finger. "You should be careful. It'll be bad if you can't play the piano." I sighed. "Sit down. I'll clean it up for you." I said as I offered him my bed.
He sat down on my bed as I instructed and he gave me his finger. As I disinfect it, I felt his presence near me, like really near me. I heard him say "Your hair smell good, Yao-chan"
I quickly shot my head up and looked to him "Yao-chan?" He just smiled at me.
He was still lying on the grass, I ran up to him "Inoo-kun!"
Thank goodness, he opened his eyes "Why are you being loud?"
I am confused, he looks okay to me, but "Why are you in here? It's raining you know"
He grabbed my hand and pulled me down to him "lay down here beside me." I stumbled and dropped my umbrella. Somehow my body just did what I was told. I lie beside him, letting the rain soak my body.
"Can't you feel it?" He said as he took a deep breath "The feelings of the clouds. Each teardrop represents something, something happy, sad, angry, confused, and in love, I collect all them, try to feel them and put them into music. Isn't lovely?" he said
I tried to understand about what he said, but to me, they're just simply rain, nothing more, and nothing less. I got up, pick up my umbrella and close it. "Let’s go inside, we might catch a cold"
He stood up and put his hands on his waist "You're not a rain person" he squinted his eyes and rolled his eyes at me, I guess his grumpy.
He went inside of the building as I followed him and on to the staircase, as he removes his wet gray jacket and hang it on his one arm. "I was composing for our project" He said as he continue to go up "I'll just take a shower and head to your room later, I'll show it to you." he said as he went off to his room.
"Composing?" I said to myself as I just stopped and stared, I don't really know what just happened.
I head to my room and straight to my restroom as I took my shower. He's a weird person; I thought and continue to shampoo my head.
As I was about to put on my sweater, I heard a knock and Inoo just went in, together with his keyboard. He places his keyboard on my bed as he pleases. "You better not disturb me next time." he said as I continue to put on my shirt.
"Here's the song I've been composing earlier" he said as he start brushing off his slender fingers to the keys of the keyboard, it makes a beautiful sounds, as I try to think of any lyrics fit for it.
I continued to walk on the rain
Where is this path going to lead me?
I stopped and stare at the blurry future
as small fears grows inside my body
I unconsciously sang. Inoo stopped playing, and looked at me "You have a beautiful voice, Yao-chan. You should sing more." he smiled at me. I lowered my head down; I don't sing in front of everyone, nor anyone in fact, I find my voice strange. He patted my head, as I looked up to him and he flashed a smile, "I like your voice, Yao-chan."
I just stared at him, completely baffled at his action; I am starting to hate it when I am thinking of him liking my voice, little butterflies starts to move around on my stomach. We continued making the music; he starts to jot down the music on the sheets, as I try to come up with the lyrics.
Night falls and we were halfway through, I am staring at my notes full of words, scratches, and doodles. I got nothing left, and I think Inoo-kun as well, he's just pressing random keys at his keyboard, we're drained.
"Let's have some dinner." He said
I nod in reply.
"Do you specifically want anything?"
"You choose, I am not picky." I replied
"Then, I know somewhere amazing." he said as he stood up.
"Just, no cats please." I begged.
"Don't worry, there are none."
We had dinner at a near ramen place, it was normal, until we finished our supper, as we went out of the diner, I'd been following him to places that is strangely been afar from our dormitory. Doubting he'll take me home, I asked him "Where are we going?" I stopped walking. "The dormitory is that way." I pointed at the opposite direction.
He grabs me by the hand and held with his, he grinned and said "Just trust me."
And I did.
He took me to this club, he just walked in their casually and took a drink. "Why are we here? We still have to finish the song." I said through the loud music playing.
"Chill Yao-chan." he said as he vanishes through the crowd.
I waited at the bar while I try to think of lyrics for our project, I took my phone out of my pocket and try to think something out. None, I am under pressure, we still have 3 days for the project, and he's fooling around. Ugh, why do I have to partner with him? He emerges out from the crowd and sat beside me at the bar, he's drunk.
"You should have to enjoy the moment, Yao-chan."
"Can we go back now? We still have things to do."
He places his fingers on my lip and shushed me, "If you say another word about the project, I'll kiss you."
I don't know why but I stood there silent.
"Come on, let's dance." He suggested
"I don't dance" I whispered to him.
He frowned and sighed, "I'll teach you." as he pulled me into the crowd. I just watched him bounce to the beat, twist his head from left to right and pop his hands up. He really looks like he was having fun, so I tried to imitate him, I also imitated the others, I didn't know that dancing was this fun. He laughed, probably at my weird dancing, I laughed too. This was fun, until, he inches closer, places his hands on my face, and kissed me. I just stood there, not knowing what to do. My heart is beating faster, I feel like it would fall off from my chest; he shifts one of his hands and places it on my nape, I can feel him pushing me a bit forward. I accepted it, I kissed him back, and I can taste the bitter from the alcohol he drank earlier. It never felt so good.
We went home after, I was lifting him by the arm, he was so drunk, and he can't walk straight. After asking for directions, we safely arrived at our dormitory, I didn't know his room number, so I just lay him down on my bed. I sat on the floor, I am too tired to do anything else, before I knew it, and I had fallen asleep there.
I woke up at the alarm rattling in my ears, ugh I have a headache, I don't think I can go to the university in this condition. I sat up, realizing that I was lying at the floor. Why was I in there floor again? I turned my head around seeing Inoo sleeping on my bed, oh yeah; we were at a club last night. I stand up and started stretching, my body is aching, due to sleeping on the floor, I headed to the restroom and took a shower.
As I got out of the shower, I found Inoo rashly eating at my coffee table. "Ohayou~" he said as he shove another spoonful of rice on his mouth.
"Ohayou," I said back and sat in front of him "Where did you get this?" I asked as I stare at the food in front of us, there are 2 bentos, 1 for me I guess.
"I bought them at the convenience store." he replied.
"Is this mine?" I asked, I find it kinda rude to just assume it’s yours.
He nods in reply.
"Itadakimasu~" I said as I ate.
"Ne, did you fall off the bed last night?" he asked
"Hm? No, I slept on the floor." I replied as I continued to eat without looking at him.
"Eh? Why? You should've slept beside me." He said as he flashed a smile, that I swear, could give me a heart attack.
"I couldn't..." I whispered. "Hey, why did you kiss me last night?" I had to ask, it was my first kiss, I never would've thought about it happening at a place like that, at a time like that, and with a person like him.
"Why? Isn't that clear enough?" He shifted his seat and sat at my bed. "It’s because I like you." he finally said it, and Why am I expecting it? "How about you, Yao-chan? Do you like me?" he asked back.
I looked away, do I like him? Why is he asking such a difficult question? Why am I thinking it as a difficult question? The answer is no, right? Why am I thinking about it thoroughly? "I- I..." I stuttered as he laughs "It was a joke, Yao-chan." he bends and kissed me at the forehead and left my room.
After our performance of our song at the class, everyone clapped. I know right, the song was amazing, Inoo and I rocked it. We went out after, to celebrate it.
"Cheers!" We both uttered as our glasses clang with each other.
"You're good at writing lyrics, Yao-chan." he said
I smiled "Thank you, Inoo-kun."
We went home afterwards, and by home, I mean our dormitory. He followed me in my room, as usual, like he actually lived there. I went in my bathroom and took a shower. After I got out, he was sitting on my bed, reading my notebook, it was a notebook that I was hiding, and it’s like my secret notebook. I hurried over him and snatched it from him, "What are you doing?" I said as my wet hair drips on my body and on the floor.
"We should make some music out of that." He calmly said to me
"It's just a bunch of scratches, it's not all done yet."
"Hey, seat down on the floor, and face the other way." he said
I did what I was told, next I heard the ringing sound of I think an hair dryer, I can feel his hands brushing onto my hair, I didn't bother asking him where did he get the hair dryer. I closed my eyes as he continues to dry my hair, and opened them when I heard the dryer was turned off, I can feel his hand drifting slowly from my hair to my jaw, he lifts my face up, leans forward and kissed me. I can't take this annoying person anymore; I have to say that I have fallen in love him.
I pulled away, it was the sweetest kiss I ever tasted, and well he was my first kiss anyway. I changed my position and faced him, this time I initiated the kiss, and pulled away once again, I looked him in the eye "I think I have fallen for you."
He smiled back; "I am happy." is all he said.
The next morning, rather than being awakened by my alarm clock, I was awakened by the slam of Inoo's arm on my chest followed by a kick by his foot, making me fell on the ground. Seriously how does this guy sleep like this? So I got up from the floor and went to my small kitchen, trying to cook something for breakfast. As I was cooking, I heard Inoo got up from the bed, surprised to feel his presence beside me, as he peck me in the cheek, I turned and faced him "Ohayou"
Suddenly his face was all weird, I know he's weird, but today is different; he was like surprised or something like that. He was exclaiming "Oh my goodness!" again and again.
I am confused what's going on, so I asked him "What's wrong?"
"I just thought of a song, I have to go. I'll see you later!" He said as he dashed off out through the door.
Today was just any regular day, I went to the library to improve my lyrics writing, to impress Inoo more, and I brought with me the notebook that 'I was supposed to hide, but Inoo still read it'. I started to look for a bunch of textbooks that I think will help me, as I was browsing through a man approached me "Nope, you can't use that. Take this instead" He said as he took the book from the pile of other books lying on my arm and replaced with another one. "Why?" I asked.
"I suggest this is better" he replied. I just stared at him, a bit confused, how does he know?
"Ah, gomen, I shouldn't have meddled like that, I am Yabu Kota, a lyricist, and I just like that book better than everything else, it saved me." he replied
I nod as I introduce myself "My name is Yaotome Hikaru, I am new to this lyrics writing, and I want to get better at it."
"Then, let me teach you a few tricks." He said, as we went to a coffee place to discuss such stuff, he told me certain things that will improve the song better.
"Do you think this will do?" I asked him and showed him my scribbles
What did you do to me?
My hands and feet are all entwined
Your words bite like those little insects
"This is good. But I think 'sting' would be better than 'bite.' " He said to me as he handed me back my notebook
"Ah, you're right." I changed what he suggested, he's a tensai , oh kami, thank you for helping me.
"The way you chose your words are funny" he said followed by a chuckle.
I smiled as I thanked him.
Afterwards, we ended our lyric writing and chatted for a while, telling each other’s lives, him saying that he's a senior and hoping will graduate this semester, he also said he had an amazing boyfriend who was a pianist, which reminds me of someone who I love, we exchange phone numbers, he told me to contact him if I had any trouble in writing, What a nice guy, I thought.
I went back to the dormitory bringing with me the new lyrics that I made; I am excited to show this to Inoo. As I reached the final step on the stairs, I saw Inoo sitting on the floor, while laying his back against the wall, with his eyes closed. Seriously, does this guy lives in my room?
I woke him up, as he wipes his eyes and uttered "Okaeri, Yao-chan." I help him up, he stands up as brushed off his pants and followed me as I walk in inside.
I threw my keys at the bed, as I took my guitar "Ne, I thought of a new song." I strum my fingers onto the strings of the guitar and sang the unfinished music that I had written earlier, with the help of Yabu-kun.
What did you do to me?
My hands and feet are all entwined
Your words bite like those little insects
You know the very reason why I have fallen for you,
yet you say such things that puzzles my heart.
You came and go, giving kisses and hugs
I'll just close my eyes and enjoy the moment,
He clapped "That's amazing!! Yao-chan!" He clutched my face and quickly kissed me in the lips, "I can continue that," he said as he sat down at the bed and wrote at my notebook.
Each day passed and I never felt the same as before, I feel like every day I am glowing, in fact I am doing very well in my subjects, and it’s all because of him. I can't stop thinking about him, everywhere I go, whatever I do, he's in my mind. What the heck did you do to me, Inoo Kei?
Today, I was hanging with Yabu-kun, we were just talking casually at the university garden, I find it amusing how Yabu and I felt like the best of friends, like we're brothers from a different mother.
We both laughed at the story that he was telling, when his laughter fades he started waving behind me "Look, that's my boyfriend, we'd been going out for 4 years, I think"
I turned around, and saw the man running, waving and smiling. What the heck did you do to me, Inoo Kei?
Inoo noticed me too, when he stopped from running and smiling and just walked towards our direction.
Yabu placed his arms on Inoo's shoulders as he came to us, "Kei, this is-" He cut him off.
"I know him" he smiled again "He's my classmate from a class, Yaotome-kun, right?"
So, It's not Yao-chan? I nod in reply, my voice won't come out.
They left as they bid goodbye.
I blinked twice, hoping that this was all just a dream, a nightmare, I pinched myself too. Oh goodness, I am awake and Inoo is cheating. What a freaking liar?!
I headed back to my dormitory, with only two words on my mind, LIAR and INOO, that freaking beautiful creature is lying to Yabu too, poor guy, he was nice. I won't tell him about this, this, whatever this is we had, I can't hurt him, he's my good friend, I'll just take all this pain, rather than hurting him.
I heard a knock on my door; my gut's telling me it’s the deceiving liar. I opened the door for him and turned around, I can't face him. He hugged me from behind "I am sorry, Yao-chan, I didn't mean to do this." He squeeze me tighter "I love you, I swear. It’s just, I love Kota too." I can hear his voice is quivering a little, and I can feel his tears touching my t-shirt.
I remove his arms on my waist, and faced him "Please leave, I need to think."
He leans in and try to kiss me on the lips, but I quickly evaded it, and he kissed me on my cheeks, as tears from his eyes falls on my face. "I love you, Yao-chan" he whispered in my ear, and left my room.
I try to act to be human as possible, I still hang with Yabu, though it’s very occasional, I can't look at him in the eye, thinking that Inoo is in love with him.
Today, I took all of my courage, and went to Inoo's room, which reminds me, it’s my first time in here. I knocked on the door, and to my surprise, Yabu opened it.
"Where is Inoo-kun?" I asked, astonished to even say that damn name.
"He's inside the shower." He replied.
"Oh, kindly give him this, it's for our class." I said as I handed out the paper to Yabu.
Yabu looked at it and read it.
Your warm hand held mine
as we dash off to the future that no one knows
The smile you always put on, bring joy in my dull life
I can't help it, I am falling in love with you even more,
You are the only one whom I will cherish
my heart is yours and yours only
Fast forward to more things like this,
laughing, joking, kissing, cuddling
I hope this won't end.
I love you until the very end of time.
That's what I thought a few days ago
When I saw you with another man,
Foolish me, I didn't notice.
I gave you the best days of my life.
But now I know, that this was just a mistake
There are things that cannot continue
How cannot I have seen this? Why I didn't ask you?
Stupid me for falling for you
I was blinded on our first kiss
the kiss that sparkled your eyes on that night
Do you remember?
That will be the last, this is goodbye
"Wow, Yaotome, this is powerful. You've improved a lot!" He praised me,
"Thank you." I replied as I bid farewell and head back.
Your acts that come-and-go like the rain is more confusing than love
Every time you rush, I feel the words lurking under that trap that’s ought to be said
Before you ran into the shadows with the unpleasant premonition and intuition, you left a note on damp paper [Goodbye]
The rusty key was once again returned to its yesterday’s lock
Flashback from the dream, once again your hands bore confusion to my cold emotion.
Come back… are you fooling me with those nonsense words? I don’t want to drown myself to you anymore
You’re a smart Cat with hidden claws and a smile that’s like scratching my chest
You’re a liar. How many times will you keep repeating this… I might end up loving you again
[Stupid] [Waste] [Strange] [Beautiful] [Rebellious] What happened? Your love is scattered.
You’re a liar. For the sense of regret or intending to change you’ll come back…? What for?
★ THE END ☆
The last lyrics is Come Back..? , credits to @haruyama5993 for the english trans ^^
The rests are just 'made up lyrics,' if any of those verses may be the same with some songs, they're purely concidental, purely concidental, I tell you, hahahahaha. if you found out that those 'made up lyrics' are same with some song, please do tell me, I am curious~ Hahahaha!
P.S: I am accepting fanfic requests~ lols , I am bored so, yeah, if you have any request just check it in here